Swine Flu? For realz? What the fuck? I don’t have health insurance for a minute and it’s like the goddamn movie Outbreak (or some people have said 28 Days Later but I didn’t watch that). What are the odds? I never get sick so I decide to take my chances and not get health insurance [...]
Entries from April 2009
April 29, 2009
Should We Buy Oil?
So I’m at the gym this morning, sweating my ass off on the elliptical machine when the guy on the machine next to me answers his phone. Now this is a major pet peeve of mine, people talking on their phone while working out. Like how hard are you working out if you can talk [...]
April 29, 2009
Other People’s Homework
I just did homework for a friend. An 8 page paper on ethics in education. Just cause I had some free time. Homework was my arch-nemesis for 17 years but maybe it’s a good way to make some extra dough, or in this case get a free Subway footlong. So if anyone needs any help [...]
April 28, 2009
In Case You Hadn’t Heard..
You’ve probably heard people talking about it around the water cooler (if you have a job) or at Subway (if you’re unemployed) but just in case you didn’t…I rode the mechanical bull for so long at Johnny Utahs last week that they eventually just had to stop it. Thats right, the bull eventually just gave [...]
April 27, 2009
Unemployment Grief Counselor
I realized something funny last week as layoffs continued at the company that I wasted five years of my life at. As soon as someone gets laid off they call me. Literally I am the first phone call they make, before they break the news to their parents or roommates, they call/e-mail me to tell [...]
April 25, 2009
Kill Some Time
Two videos for those of you bored at your offices (and who isn’t?) and those of you bored on your couch (I don’t know why that would bore you).
Like a Boss:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c
*best line: “promote synergy”. Synergy is the most common “try and use a business-y type” word.
Tea Partay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTU2He2BIc0
* yes, it’s old, I know. It’s still funny [...]
April 24, 2009
I Have a Blog
While getting bombarded with the barrage of questions about what I’ve been doing with my time I told someone at a party this weekend that I “had a blog”. Granted I’ve told this to a quite a few people in the past few months but mostly friends of mine who aren’t judging me. As I [...]
April 23, 2009
Jobless Etiquette
Some woman was just on the Today show talking about “Jobless Etiquette”. There was a lot of jibberish talk but she made two good points. One was: if you ask someone what they do and they say “I got laid off” don’t act like they just said they have three months to live. I feel [...]
April 22, 2009
My New Crew
While initially I was really enjoying all the alone time my unemployment afforded me I now find myself seeking out conversation with people I encounter throughout my day. I started with my mail-lady (since I sit outside on the stoop waiting for her everyday she was an obvious choice), she was cool, she likes to [...]
April 21, 2009
Eye Pokes and Kicks in the Balls
I poked myself in the eye yesterday and it reminded me of being a kid for some reason. As I thought about it I realized that it’s because throughout the single digit years two injuries alternate happening every other day – getting poked in the eye and hurting your balls. I’m not sure if it’s [...]
