I keep seeing the Truth commercials where they use hidden cameras to conduct fake job interviews to get across some ridiculous message about tobacco companies (smoking is cool, I don’t care what anyone says). I think it’s pretty ballsy that at a time when people are desperately seeking employment and there are, on average, five [...]
Entries from June 2009
June 29, 2009
Negative Charisma
This is my new favorite term. I’m reading How to Lose Friends & Alienate People (something I’m already very good at) and the author diagnoses himself as having negative charisma, basically meaning that without knowing or even meeting him people hate him. Aldous and I have been searching for years for the perfect term to describe [...]
June 24, 2009
Strippers
In my exploration of possible career options I’ve stumbled upon a real growth industry with high-earning potential and excellent exposure — stripping. In case you haven’t noticed, there has never been a better time than now to be a stripper. Back in the day, strippers didn’t have much of a future, it was pretty much slut [...]
June 22, 2009
Gay Straws
When did drinking out of straws become gay? Was it always gay? I think it’s a fair point. Girls drink out of straws to not ruin their lipstick (is that right?) and I guess there’s some phallic-ness to it, but it also keeps ice out of your mouth. It’s annoying when you’re drinking Coke and ice [...]
June 19, 2009
The Bases
And I’m not talking about baseball here. Remember how you used to describe your 8th grade makeout (5th grade if you were a slut) using the baseball analogy? Well I’m bringing it back. I was trying to do this the other day but got really confused about what happened at each base, plus I think [...]
June 18, 2009
Letterman v. Palin
I‘m bored of the topic. Letterman tried to make a joke and it didn’t really work out. I love a good “knocked up” joke but that one wasn’t great even if the knocked up daughter had been the one at the game. I don’t even care that the one that was there was 14. I [...]
June 16, 2009
Fake Eyelashes
I saw a commercial the other day for some sort of eyelash medication that I was convinced was a SNL spoof but after some research I just found out that like the Nationwide commercial with the blind guy that Aldous loves, this one is also real. Brooke Shields, who is simultaneously pimping Colgate toothpaste and VW [...]
June 15, 2009
Blackout Bills
There are a lot of bad parts to waking up the morning after heavy boozing. You definitely said a lot of stupid shit, probably did a good amount of dancing (which never looks cool), and maybe got a couple of unidentifiable cuts and bruises. But no matter how bad any of those are, they’re never [...]
June 12, 2009
Desperate For a Job
I keep reading these stories about the things people are doing to get a job during the recession. Apparently, right now in the US there are 5 applicants for every job opening, that doesn’t sound like a lot to me but I guess if you’re t trying to get a job as a “barista” at [...]
June 11, 2009
Cow Appreciation Day
In an awesome move by the always delicious Chick-fil-A they will be celebrating “Cow Appreciation Day” by giving away a free meal to anyone who shows up dressed like a cow at any of their restaurants on July 10th. Your initial thought is naturally “what constitutes a cow costume?” What if I take a heavy [...]
