Semi Adult

There are a lot of bad parts to waking up the morning after heavy boozing. You definitely said a lot of stupid shit, probably did a good amount of dancing (which never looks cool), and maybe got a couple of unidentifiable cuts and bruises. But no matter how bad any of those are, they’re never worse than looking at your credit card bill. That’s when the entire night becomes not just embarrassing but also a financial kick in the balls. You pull out receipts for boatloads of rum and chocolatinis you offered to buy some girl with 30% tips added, because the drunker you are the richer you get. While I’m obviously a connoisseur of this situation no one must have had a worse wake up than that dude that spent $241,000 at Scores. I don’t know how many dances with a lot of very special moves you have to get to spend that (it would be roughly 12,000 regular ones or 1,000 private ones). I would think you’d get to keep a couple of the girls. Like you get two of them, a couple cases of Cristal, and part of the stage to take home so you can set up your own mini-Scores at home. So he probably felt way worse than I ever have the next morning but all his friends felt super awesome. I wish I was his friend.