Semi Adult

And I’m not talking about baseball here. Remember how you used to describe your 8th grade makeout (5th grade if you were a slut) using the baseball analogy? Well I’m bringing it back. I was trying to do this the other day but got really confused about what happened at each base, plus I think it was a regional thing. Like what happened on 2nd base in New Jersey was a lot different than what happened on 2nd base in Wyoming. In New Jersey 2nd base involves multiple partners, a horse and fuzzy dice — just kidding, but you get the idea. Quite honestly, I’m not sure that the base analogy makes any sense, maybe we need something with more than four points, like an octagon, because there are major leaps between 2nd and 3rd base in my understanding and I certainly don’t want anyone getting the wrong impression of me. I’m going to start working on a complete reconstruction of the makeout bases, stay tuned, this is going to be bigger than when they updated the food pyramid…