Semi Adult

Apparently for all you tools with an iPhone there’s a new app called the Drink Tracker that has some pretty cool functions. When you go out for the night, you tap the phone every time you have a drink and it continuously updates your blood alcohol level, how long you’ve been drinking and how many rum and cokes you’ve had. I can honestly say that if I had this app on my phone I would probably never drink again (which is why I’ll never get it). Waking up in the morning only to have hard cold proof that I drank 12 beers, 7 rum and cokes and 4 tequila shots over the course of 10 hours would lead me into a deep depression. Typically waking up with little to no memories of the night before I like to lie to myself and pretend that someone put something in my drink (which is how I got so drunk) and tell myself I was home by 2am. I’m worried that if too many people get this app folks are going to stop boozing all night and I’m going to be the only one left in the club at 4:30 demanding that they turn the lights back off. I think a more useful app would be one where a hand reaches out of the phone and covers my mouth when I start telling my friends how I really feel about their boyfriends or one that picks me up and puts me in a cab after I’ve fallen three times on the dance floor. Maybe Apple should hire me to come up with their new apps, anyone got a connection?