Semi Adult

Is it just me or are people not drinking as much these days? More and more I find myself having to beg people to go out or to stay out, even more annoying. I never much understood the whole convincing people to go out  business, like I understand having to convince you to go to the gynecologist or your grandma’s house, but the bar, seriously? Halfway through my whole speech of “You’re going to have so much fun, everyone is going to be blown away by your dance moves, guys will be all over you”, I realize what I’m doing, say fuck it, hang up and go out by myself. I don’t need to hang out with any freaks who need to have it explained how awesome boozing, falling down, throwing up and spending all your money is. But I guess this is what people mean when they annoyingly say “that’s what happens when you get older”, people start enjoying Dateline on a Saturday night topped off with an ice cream sundae instead of 3 Jaeger bombs topped off with a dance-off. Meanwhile, it’s 4am and I turn around at the bar to realize that I’ve been talking to a dead homeless dude for the past hour. Oh well, he’s still more fun than you.