Semi Adult

So I  have a new pet peeve which I think could lead to a huge business opportunity for one of our legions of readers — dudes and chapstick. While I understand that in the winter it gets cold and everyone does suffer from chapped lips, I get seriously creeped the fuck out when I see a dude put on chapstick. Like the thought of a guy even carrying chapstick grosses me out. I mean it looks like they’re putting on lipstick when they apply it and people tend to make this weird face when they put it on, just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I was at a bar recently with a guy when apparently he could no longer deal with the cracking of his lips, he pulled out his chapstick but thanks my quick reflexes I was able to slap it out of his hand before he embarrassed both of us. There has to be a better way for men to deal with their chapped lips — for one, they could just step it up and be men and not give a shit or if they’re so delicate and ladylike and need to have chapstick, they need some super manly application device, like a blowtorch. Someone please get on this.