Semi Adult

I’m on a plane right now. Yes, that’s right, a plane. And I’m posting on this (sweet) blog at the same time. I’m on a Delta flight and they somehow have free internet. You just open your laptop and BAM! you’re connected. It’s like it’s the future. Not the very far off future but mid-2010 at least. The connection isn’t great. Posting on a cool blog seems to be fine. Facebook is ok but pictures take a really long time and facebook is good for nothing else (it’s not like I’m gonna read people’s stupid walls – post on why it’s called a “wall” to follow some day). However, the really bad news is that the connection is not good enough to watch Family Guy online. I sat for thirty minutes waiting for the video to “buffer” and it was still very choppy. So close and yet so far. Being able to watch choppy Family Guy is so much worse than no Family Guy at all. It’s kinda like only making it to first base. That only makes you want to go to second base, so if I’m not gonna get there I’d rather just scrap the whole thing. There are a lot of situations where “at least it’s better than nothing” do not apply. This is one of them. So while I post the plane is shaking like it’s about to fall out of the sky. I don’t like it when planes shake. This flying, billion-ton tube of cookie dough death-trap should not shake. You think they’d add that anti-shake feature that cameras have to planes. When I make it big (big in what? fuck you, that’s what) I’m gonna take hundreds of sleeping drugs and anti-anxiety pills before every flight (like when I’m still at home) and then have a butler carry my unconscious body to the airport and on to the plane. Once we land he carries me off and brings me to my hotel and places me in the bed. I then wake up somewhere new without having endured the many hassles of flying.